Wednesday, October 6, 2010

blood relatives.

so yesterday i came home from dropping of my son @ school and something triggered me to look up my biological father on facebook..i don't know why but i did.  i figured 50 somethings were now starting to join facebook more rapidly so it wouldn't hurt.  after searching with no luck i entered his name in google and it said born and then died i was like wtf? i was real anxious and read that he had passed away in 2008. i did a search for him in 2003 and spoke to him once on the phone i had every plan on meeting him and hopefully talking with him and seeing him for the first time.  yesterday my heart sunk and i paid to revive his obituary in the boston globe it talked about him having 2 other kids and being in vietnam in hand to hand combat for 4 years and being rewarded many medals.  he was 17 yrs old when he went to vietnam. i wanted to know him i wanted to see his photograph i was too late.  in the obituary it had his sisters name so yesterday i called her and talked with her for awhile she was very warm and understanding she said that he died suddenly @ 56 yrs old and he moved back up to boston to try and reconnect with me before he had passed.  she said he wanted to mend the bridge and reconnect.  i took this harder than i though and still am i feel like a hermit in my apartment crying every now and again...i don't know if this is a normal feeling or not i mean i never met him.  he is buried at the national cemetery in bourne ma for soldiers and i plan on visiting next weekend sometime. i guess looking him up i never expected to find a d. next to his name and i waited to long.


Mollie said...

I'm so glad you blogged this Cristin. I also missed the chance to meet my birthmom but have learned alot about her since her passing. This lifetime wasn't the right time but there will come a time. Just keep working on being the best daughter, mother, wife that you are. He sees and knows who you are. Bless you for remembering and honoring him for giving you the life that you enjoy today. It's about life!! You're a sweetheart. Love ya.