Wednesday, November 10, 2010

today is the day!

today is the day. 

so i woke up the other morning with more electricity in my veins..
i felt determined i felt more alive than normal
finally i could breathe deep

before i needed a kick in the ass...i went from place to place like normal but my passions seemed underlying
i would drive my mini with no music and just stare at the car in front of me instead of playing arcade fire
singing and laughing with my son..
don't get me wrong my son and i always laughed and giggled but i had gained weight, my work was sporadic, i stayed up way to late and would hyper focus on getting pregnant.  the hyper focus thing was def fucking with my system i wouldn't get my period for 40 days and things got really weird and funny within my body. i needed to go to the gym i needed more of a routine.

the other day i joined a gym and so far i have been every day! im siked on this gym and i seriously do believe that exercise does change a lot about the person their mood, health, etc.

i went to the doctor today to get my first round of blood tests since im so late each month and that we;ve been trying for awhile and not getting pregnant.  hopefully these tests will yield some results to see how or what i need to do different.  now i am listening to the arcade fire, giggling with my son, i have so much energy to make dinner and balance everything...oh for the love of exercise....

i'm awake!